Love Languages at work and how to use them to help your business

Feb 13, 2023 | Business

Bear with me here as I talk love languages at work. I haven’t gone crazy and I’m not about to unleash or encourage a nightmare for the HR department.

The Five Love Languages was a concept developed by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”. It has grown in popularity and experienced a resurgence in recent years.

The author explored how relationships can become stronger by understanding your own and your partner’s primary “love language”. That is, the means by which you express and receive love. At its heart, the concept is about the ways we communicate with each other – and you can apply this to work relationships as well.

So what are the 5 Love Languages?

Each of the love languages explored in the book is of equal importance. No one love language is higher than another. This is how Chapman describes the love languages.

  1. Words of Affirmation: This love language involves using words to express love, appreciation, and support. People who have this as their primary love language feel most loved when they receive compliments, encouragement, and kind words.
  2. Acts of Service: This love language involves doing things for others to show love and support. People who have this as their primary love language feel most loved when their partner helps with tasks or does something to make their life easier.
  3. Receiving Gifts: This love language involves giving and receiving gifts as a way to express love. People who have this as their primary love language feel most loved when they receive thoughtful, meaningful gifts from their partner.
  4. Quality Time: This love language involves giving someone your undivided attention and spending time together. People who have this as their primary love language feel most loved when their partner sets aside time specifically for them and focuses solely on them.
  5. Physical Touch: This love language involves physical touch to express love and affection. People who have this as their primary love language feel most loved when they receive hugs, cuddles, and other forms of physical touch from their partner.

You can see where I’m going with this in terms of work relationships. Although I’ll immediately flag a warning for number 5 that I’ll get to soon. First, you need to know what your love language is. You might know yourself well and have an idea already. Or you may be tossing up between a couple. You can take The Love Language™ Quiz to find out.

How do love languages at work actually work?

Work relationships are still relationships – they depend on communication and a variety of other factors like trust to grow and thrive. By understanding your own love language, you can be aware of your own expectations (realistic or otherwise).  And armed with this self awareness, you can approach people and situations with more clarity.

Let’s look at each of the love languages and how they apply to work situations.

  1. Words of Affirmation: In a work setting this could be the use of positive words to express appreciation and support for a work task. Eg. “I noticed you put in extra time to get that report finished. I really appreciate it.”
  2. Acts of Service: In a work setting this is about doing something to help someone else. It could be resolving a customer query quickly or it could be offering help to a colleague. Eg. “I’ve got some extra time. I can restock the shelves for you.” 
  3. Receiving Gifts: In a work setting this is about showing thanks through a gift and it doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. It could be as simple as your employer giving you the afternoon off to thank you for a big project completed.
  4. Quality Time: In a work setting this involves giving someone your undivided attention and spending time together. In a team-building context, this could mean setting aside time for team members to bond and connect with each other through a social outing.
  5. Physical Touch: In a work setting this might mean a literal pat on the back or a handshake to show appreciation for a job well done.

The benefits of Love Languages in the workplace

Knowing your own love language can help you understand what makes you feel valued and appreciated. And it can help you interact with others in a positive way. This could result in better communication with others, improved client relationships, and enhanced teamwork and collaboration. However, if you don’t know the love language of others, it may be difficult to tailor your communication and actions to their specific needs and preferences. And in fact, you should tread carefully.

In a work setting it’s important to remember boundaries. Obviously, you shouldn’t be touching others inappropriately or without consent. Likewise, gifts if given, need to be appropriate. But it’s still possible to use the concepts of the 5 love languages at work to create a positive and supportive environment. Focus on making positive and encouraging statements, offering help and support when needed, acknowledging contributions, prioritising time for team building and open communication, and demonstrating appreciation in non-physical ways.

Just as people have different ways of working, love languages represent the different ways people like to be communicated with – and the way appreciation can be shown towards them.

What type of personalities are you working with?

This blog focused on Love Languages and how knowing your own can help you navigate work relationships better. A bit of Valentine’s fun. But there’s a lot to be said for understanding how others ‘tick’. While you can’t introduce a Love Languages quiz to your staff, if you’re interested in exploring this type of psychology better, you can explore the DISC Personality test. There are free versions available online and you can also find facilitators who will come out and run workshops for you. 

The DISC model describes four main personality types:

D is for Dominance

I is for Influence

S is for Steadiness and

C is for Conscientiousness.

Everyone is a mixture of each style, but most people tend to fall into one or two main DISC styles. Knowing this information about yourself and your employees can help you get the best out of everyone and therefore further the success of your business.

Understanding your product or service is a given. But if you can uplevel and also understand the humans behind your business, you’ll be ahead of the pack.


Get your Instagram on

After Kate’s earlier mentioned money talk, the conference closed with the effervescent Jade Warner from Small Business Growth Club talking all things Instagram. Jade’s presentation was a great reminder that transformation and story telling is still a social media honeypot. People love to see how other people, products, places and just about anything have changed. I particularly loved Jade’s advice about the more Instagram surfaces (feeds, stories, reels, lives, DMs) we appear on, the further our reach.

Let’s get physical

Kate Toon provided a conference experience unlike many others. Coffee cart, morning and afternoon tea, lunch, after conference finger food and drinks, beanbags and massages. But even with all of that, she realised her speakers were giving us a lot of information and that our brains had a lot to process. So in the afternoon she surprised us a with a special guest – Lizzie Williamson from Two Minute Moves. Lizzie told us her story and demonstrated that even for those of us who hate exercise (not mentioning any names), two minutes of movement a day can be a game changer for our mental health. She had us up moving and dancing to Olivia Newton John’s Let’s Get Physical and it definitely helped our mindset. We were refreshed and able to concentrate for the last of the afternoon sessions.

Gifts and prizes

Attendees were also spoiled with a whole range of gifts donated by businesses in DMC. I was lucky enough to win two gorgeous prizes – a mini hamper from Bundles of Luxe thanks to Natasha Sutton from First Impressions Media, and a linen table runner and soap from Sue McGary of French Affair.

I also went home with gifts from Nick’s Digital and event sponsor True Green. And if that wasn’t enough, Kate also gave us Masterminders a box of Digital Marketing Collective goodies.

Award winners

It’s amazing to think that Kate Toon also organised awards around this conference. They’re a lot of work and many generous people gave up their time to read and judge entries. Thank you to head judge Erin Huckle and everyone else who participated.

I was a finalist in the Service Based Business of the Year Award (how cool is that?) but I couldn’t be disappointed in missing out when I saw the calibre of the other finalists. Well done to all finalists. A big congratulations to Beck Confrancesco from Marketing Goodness for being runner up and Nerissa Bentley from The Melbourne Health Writer for winning. Woo hoo! So well deserved. Both these women have always been extremely generous, sharing their knowledge and helping me be better in business. So I was thrilled to see both these first time award entrants get rewarded for their hard work and success.

Congratulations to all the finalists and winners in the E-commerce Business of the Year awards as well. Was thrilled to see Nikki Filia from BeBangles, whose beautiful bracelets I was wearing, awarded runner up. And congratulations to Sue McGary from French Affair for taking out the win. What gorgeous products.


Digital Marketing Collective

This blog post is merely a recap of two very value-packed days at the Digital Marketing Collective Conference 2023. The overwhelming feeling at the end was not only that we got so much useful and practical information to help our businesses grow, but that we had met so many amazing humans.

Kate Toon has an uncanny ability to gather together the best of people. The Digital Marketing Collective is made up of a diverse range of service based and e-commerce business owners. Imagine having a safe space to learn, grow, make mistakes and be supported. Come join us. Full disclosure – the link below is an affiliate link but I would never recommend a group that I wasn’t myself paying to be a part of.

Join Digital Marketing Collective

P.S. If you want to see more photos and videos from the Mastermind and Conference, head over to my Instagram highlights after you join DMC.

Welcome to The Copywriting Chonicles

I love the building industry as much as I love writing. You can learn more about me here.

If you have a question about anything building related that you would like me to blog about, please drop me a quick note.

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